So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
