I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
