That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
