My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
