That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
