Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's never too late to be topless.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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