I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize