I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize