The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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