Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
