I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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