Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
