I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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