belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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