I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
