oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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