my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
