The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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