There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
