We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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