We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
