D3 body, D1 cock
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
