Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
