You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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