shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
