If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
