Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
