do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
