All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
