I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
