walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
