so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
