Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
