The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
NoShamevember. You game?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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