So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
