Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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