When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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