He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize