shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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