He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
