Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I would fuck him just for his dog
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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