Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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