you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
