There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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