Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize