evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize