i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
