So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
