So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
