At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
