I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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