Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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