so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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