yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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