oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
