SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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