Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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