its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
