i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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