nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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