Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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