Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
