I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
