Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
