Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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