if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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