I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize