he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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